Lessons of Grace

"Grace interrupts and overwhelms with its irrationality and abundance." 

Ellie Roscher How Coffee Saved My Life: And Other Stories of Stumbling to Grace

Seeing grace in my own life sometimes can be easily overlooked when I decided to look at to do lists, think about the future, and when I try to take credit for the things I have "accomplished" . I am learning for me it takes making a daily conscious effort to take time and reflect on celebrating the little things and pondering upon the graces the Lord has bestowed on me during the day.

I can't believe that I have lived outside of the United States now for over a year and a half and in two different countries (Costa Rica and Honduras). As I reflect upon the the lessons I have learned and the success I have made, I can't begin to take credit for a single thing. The things I have learned have been lessons the Lord has taught me that have drawn me closer to Him and have forced me to live each day by faith ..."today for today".   God anticipates the fact that I am afraid. He is with me, and is my Wonderful Counelor who understands my circumstances. Anticipating my fear, He provides a way out by inviting me to cast it all on Jesus, becuase now one care about my fears life Him. 

" But I trust in you, O Lord; I say, "You are my God." My times are in your hands."

 [ Psalms 31:14-15]

Here are some of my reflections of my lessons of grace from this journey of a 1 1/2:
- I have cried with hurting and laughed and rejoiced with the blessed.
- I did things that scared me.
- I learned hot to gracefully fail and laugh at myself.
- I learned that the world is big and does not revolve around me or my problems.
- I became bilingual and bi-cultural.
- I tangibly experienced the power of prayer.
- I have traveled by myself using a second language.
- I was awed into a peaceful silence by being surrounded by mountains and the sea.
- I realized that I am human and starting to become aware of naming my needs and finding those who can help me.
- I survived many episodes lice and countless digestive problems.
- I came to believe that my worth does not, indeed, depend on my productivity.
- I listened more than I spoke.

These are not what I anticipated would be my grace lessons, but this journey has been worth every step. We are all in the occupation of planting seeds and rarely do we get the benefit from the harvest, or even know that it happens. Through this year and a half the Lord has provided beautiful relationships that have formed before my eyes, a bountiful harvest.

"Be ready for the sudden surprise visits from God" Oswald Chambers. 

Con Todo- With Everything

Lyrics to With Everything :

Open our hearts,

To see the things

That make Your heart cry,

To be the church

The You would desire.

Light to be seen.

Break down our pride,

And all the walls

We've built up inside,

Our earthly crowns

And all our desires,

We lay at Your feet.

So let hope rise,

And darkness tremble

In Your holy light,

And every eye will see

Jesus, our God,

Great and mighty to be praised.

God of all days,

Glorious in all of Your ways.

Your majesty, the wonder and grace,

In the light of Your name.

With everything,

With everything,

We will shout for your glory.

With everything,

With everything,

We will shout forth your praise.

Our hearts will cry

Be glorified,

Be lifted high,

Above all names.

For You our King,

With everything,

We will shout forth your praise.

Serving the Lord with everything. Con Todo. I participated in a presentation this weekend at church.  I am holding the sign Mis Manos (my hands). I will serve the Lord with my hands. The hand prints are those of the kids in my class. 

Below is a link to song from YouTube that is song in English and has Spanish subtitles. We sing the song in Spanish, but to give you and idea of the song.

Building a Bridge in Communication

Watching God opening up a door of opportunity of change is so exciting to see because it is full of possibilities.  I have had the privilege of tutoring Luis Miguel for almost a year now. When I first arrived he was very shy around me. He would bow is head, almost in shame, and wouldn't dare look me in the eyes. I would greet him with a friendly smile each day hoping to see a smile. I made it a priority to observe Luis and see what he liked to do and what made him happy. Then one day he motioned for me to come a push him on the swings. I gave him an underdog and sent him sailing into the air. At the moment I released my hands from the swing there was a burst of laughter that came from Luis Miguel. I had to immediately turn around to see the joyful smile that I had been longing to see. From that moment he began smiling at me in the mornings and over time giving me a hug and even making a sound that forms my name. 

I tutored Luis Miguel one on one last year in the afternoon, however this year I am tutoring first and second grade so I am unable to work on on one with Luis. He thrives with one on one attention and is completely lost in the the class room.Luis Miguel has undiagnosed learning disability and speech problems due to health issues when he was little. He is 10 years and has never been to school, which can be mind boggling knowing the education system in the States. As each week has passed the desire to look for help for Luis Miguel kept growing. He attends CNI for 2 hours a day and I just kept praying that there would be some way we could provide for his needs. 

A week and a half ago I went and visited a school that severs kids with learning disabilities.  During the meeting with the director she told us there was an opening with the speech pathologist and that he could start  going 3 times a week. Then she told us there is a possibility that there might be an opening for him to attended classes in the morning starting in July. GOD IS SO GOOD!

We have been in communication with his parents and they have come to an agreement to commit to an opportunity for Luis Miguel to attend a special education school. There is only one school here in La Ceiba, which is on the other side of town, which is about a 20 minute drive. This commute is impossibly of this family without taking public transportation.  His mom will be accompanying Luis Miguel to his speech therapy and will be sitting him with him. The therapist will be giving his mom therapy work to do at home. 

The opportunity to build this bridge in communication for Luis Miguel will not only change his future but also his family. I am excited to see how God is going to us the opportunity to impact the family and I pray that this will draw them closer to the Lord.

Luis Miguel at initial assessment with the speech therapist. 

Luis Miguel

Getting back to life

Life is either a daring adventure, or it is nothing. 

- Helen Keller

A daring adventure with our Lord is worth every step of faith he calls us to take. Each day as a staff here at CNI we take part of this daring adventure that the Lord has called us to in serving the kids that are apart of CNI.  Here are some pictures to capture some of the moments from these past 2 1/2 weeks.

Brain and Genesis
Brain has started attending again since his sister was removed from their home.  He is a little man and we  are trying to care for him now that he comes to CNI alone. He loves getting a ride in my "big" car that he has to climb into and jump out of. He is seeking love and every day wants to eat lunch with me. Yesterday he asked me to help him finish eating so I made airplane noises as I filled his fork.

Gabby and my morning class

Gabby has been helping lead morning devotions with my kids. She is reading a illustrated book from Psalms 91. 

Bryan Manuel and Rigo

All of the kids of CNI made cards for Mother's Day. These brothers were working together while making their cards.

Paola and I
I had the kids place a hand print on their card. They enjoyed the feeling of the painting  oozing  between their  fingers.

My morning class displaying their Mother's day cards.

My afternoon kids displaying their Mother's Day cards.

One of my kids decided to add not just one enhancement, but four hand prints onto the walls.  Thank goodness it was washable paint. The next day the boys that were in the afternoon class each had to wash off a hand print. 

Evin has become my little shadow. He wants to help whenever he can, likes if I play games with him,  will sit with me as I watch  the older kids play futbol, and likes if I eat lunch with him.  Last week a kid a school beat him up, that day he needed a little extra TLC (tender loving care). 

Santos, Janet, Jesus waiting to see the dentist.
I have been taking the kids to the nurse when needed, but now kids have been asking me to accompany  them to the dentist. This week two of our girls have had to have teeth extracted.  For those who don't know,  I  get sick to my stomach when I see needles or blood or infected wounds.  This week I have encountered all of these and I have had to be strong for my kids as I held their hands. As I looked into their frightened eyes I encouraged them to take deep breaths, some of that was personal advise too. Needless to say my stomach is getting stronger.  

Janet
Tiny smile for a very nervous girl who was about to get two baby  molars extracted.

Praising the Lord in the Storms of life

Praise You in the Storm

By Casting Crowns 

I was sure by now

God You would have reached down 

And wiped our tears away 

Stepped in and saved the day

But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining 

As the thunder rolls

I barely hear Your whisper through the rain 

I'm with you" 

And as Your mercy falls 

I raise my hands and praise the God who gives

And takes away 

[Chorus]

And I'll praise You in this storm 

And I will lift my hands 

For You are who You are

No matter where I am 

And every tear I've cried

You hold in Your hand 

You never left my side

And though my heart is torn 

I will praise You in this storm 

I remember when I stumbled in the wind 

You heard my cry to you 

And you raised me up again 

My strength is almost gone 

How can I carry on 

If I can't find You

But as the thunder rolls

I barely hear You whisper through the rain

"I'm with you" 

And as Your mercy falls 

I raise my hands and praise the God who gives 

And takes away 

[Chorus]

I lift my eyes unto the hills

Where does my help come from? 

My help comes from the Lord

The Maker of Heaven and Earth 

So, maybe it's a little melodramatic, but I've gone through a pretty dramatic range of emotions this past month and a half. I wasn't really ready to blog about it until today because I was in the middle of a storm, and feeling very torn up inside. I think, it's mostly over now. 

During this storm I have been going through I was reminded of 

Luke 8:23-25 Jesus and his disciples are sailing to their next destination, when disaster strikes. 

As they sailed, he fell asleep. A storm came down on the lake, so that the boat was being swamped, and they were in great danger. The disciples went and woke him, saying, “Master, Master, we’re going to drown!” He got up and rebuked the wind and the raging waters; the storm subsided, and all was calm. “Where is your faith?” he asked his disciples.

It seemed like a routine sailing. The week of March 19 -23 seemed be like the previous week...a little hectic with some situations with our kids, but for the most part "normal".  Then one of the pastors here a Great Commission Church received a threatening letter. Who knew there was church persecution in central america!  

A sudden squall and great danger. The unexpected happens. On Mach 28 I was requested by Great Commission Church and Latin America Mission to leave La Ceiba for a couple of weeks and wait for things to settle down. Well that couple of weeks turned into a month. 

Panic. During storms there can be unexpected behaviors, emotionally overwhelm changing ability to rationalize, and cope. Panic. Crying out to Lord and not knowing what to exactly pray for except for help and peace and calmness. 

Where is your faith? This storm was a huge time of growth in my relationship with the Lord especially in the area of faith and trust. The Lord was right there in with me and asking me where is my faith? Who am I going to trust? 

And today, there was a Savior who paid my ransom with His blood, and it was enough.

It is always enough!  Could I just remember? Could I just remember whose I am? Could I just remember the price He paid to live in me? And if Christ is in me, then can’t I find Him in all of these things too? Knowing that in all circumstances He is enough and He is working to draw me closer to Him, I praise Him for the good in the hardest of days.

Jesus, you are enough. You are enough to fill in the gaps, fill all my holes, make up my lack. My flesh screams, “I can’t go on, I don’t have enough! Not enough strength, not enough patience, not enough…” And I wouldn’t, but I have You. And in You, I have enough and more than enough, Father of abundance, Giver of endless blessings.You exchange my lack for your abundance, Christ in me the only hope of glory. Christ in me is enough. Christ with me is enough. Christ on that cross and risen for me is enough. 

You are enough, Jesus.

And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen His GLORY, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth. From His fullness, we have all received 

grace upon grace. John 1:14,16

Arrive safely at the shore. God’s promise is that you will arrive at the shore. The crisis will end, and God’s plan will come to pass. The Lord controls nature, the wind and waves.  On April 28 I was given permission to return to La Ceiba. Now I am getting back to life, which is a new phrase I have adapted. I can't say getting back to normal because normal just can't exist. Life changes so much. I have learned to cherish each day and to serve to Lord in all that I do, because life as I know it today for today could completely change.  

I have moved to a different house and now I am blessed to live with two other single lady missionaries. Kate and Shannon have been a true blessing in my life, especially since the beginning of this year.  Such a privilege to share our lives and a home together. 

Kate and Shannon

Where is God

“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” 

Hebrews 11:1

Where is God?


God is on the throne, showing me He is all powerful and never changing and worthy of our praise. God shows me His scars, which reveal His unconditional love. God holds the bottle to catch all my tears, showing me that He hears my every cry  and right by my side.


God is with us, Emmanuel. It is His tenderness that binds up the wounds we have from living in this fallen world.


Romans 5: 1-5 "Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us."


I am comforted and have hope because God is with me. 

“Most people, if they had really learned to look into their own hearts, would know that they do want, and want acutely, something that cannot be had in this world. There are all sorts of things in this world that offer to give it to you, but they never quite keep their promise.

At present we are on the outside… the wrong side of the door. We discern the freshness and purity of morning, but they do not make us fresh and pure. We cannot mingle with the pleasures we see. But all the pages of the New Testament are rustling with the rumor that it will not always be so. Someday, God willing, we shall get “in”… We will put on glory… that greater glory of which Nature is only the first sketch.

We do not want to merely “see” beauty–though, God knows, even that is bounty enough. We want something else which can hardly be put into words–to be united with the beauty we see, to pass into it, to receive it into ourselves, to bathe in it, to become part of it.”                  

–  C.S. Lewis

Striving for Excellence

Mailyn and Ivelisse

These two girls have been pretty much inseparably since Mailyn's family returned to La Ceiba at Christmas time last year.  Last year Ivelisse was in my first grade tutoring class for the first couple of months. Each day as I would teach and hand out a practice she would always be the first one done. I soon noticed her boredom so I talked to Alessandro to see if Ivelisse could move up to his class. I couldn't imagine how bored she must had been in school if she was already not being challenged by the tutoring. When I talked to Ivelisse to see if she would like to move up to the next tutoring class her eyes just lite up. I was pleased to see her enthusiasm.

This year I have been tutoring both first and second grade, Ivelisse was in my 2nd grade tutoring class this year. Again I noticed that she was still at a more advanced level than the other 2nd grade students, and so was her best friend Mailyn. The girls came up to me with a sparkle in their eyes right before I left for the conference in San Pedro and proudly announced that their teacher at school has given them permission to move up to the 3rd grade. I gave them a huge hug and congratulated them. I am so proud of these two girls and their families. Education is seen as something valuable. These girls are striving for excellence and I am excited that we have the privilege to walk alongside these girls and encourage them along this journey.